Mid-Semester Crisis

I've been in college for 4 full years and I'm on my fifth and final year as we speak.  Every semester (I kid you not) I have had a mid-semester crisis.  I didn't realize this until this morning when I was jamming to Pat Benetar on the bus because she's the only person that can make me feel okay right now.

My first couple years they were small ones.  Just little things like " Oh gosh, I'm a little behind on assignments" but this semester it's a big one.  I'm freaking out.  I'm convinced that my boyfriend doesn't like me anymore and that we have to break up because we never see each other and never do anything together and he always seems to have his own agenda.  I'm convinced that I'm never going to get a job in my field and I'm going to work shitty part time jobs for the rest of my life. And in addition to that I'm going to have to work every weekend of my life and never have any fun.  I'm convinced that I'm not even going to make it through this semester, even though so far I have A's and B's in all of my classes.  I'm convinced that I'm never going to find my passion in life and that my journey is going to be riddled with sadness and depression. I'm also at a point where drinking seems like the only way to have fun.

Like I said this one is a full-blown crisis and I have no way to deal other than with methods that are somewhat self-harming.  I'm not like hurting myself (so please don't worry too much) but I am thinking about drinking more and I'm closing myself off to people that I shouldn't be.

I'd also like to apologize, dear readers, for being so morose.  I'm just having a rough time right now and this blog in all honesty is my outlet.  Not a lot of people read it but this is almost a passive aggressive way of letting the people I love know what's going on with my life.

So let's not talk about that stuff and talk about how I'm going to try my hardest to stay f*cking positive.

Pat Benetar

This woman is the shit.  All of her songs make me feel like I can rule the world and they give me an instant boost.  

TheBerry.com

I've posted about theBerry before and today they made the perfect post.  I was feeling awful this morning and I opened my Berry app and they had a post of positive messages that just made me smile.

These are my two external things but overall I'm trying to think positively and tell myself that I'm worth it.  I'm a good person and everything is going to be okay.

I'd greatly appreciate any positive comments.  Happy Monday! I hope you're all doing okay.