Positive Thoughts

Today I was going to post about my visit to Carlo's Bake Shop, but it can wait.  The past two days I've been feeling pretty down and negative.  I've felt bad about Kyle going to the Navy, the loss of my dad, my unclear future and a few other things.  But, I was just looking at theBerry.com (a great site if you like to waste time looking at pictures like me) and I found a post called Be All That You Can Be and one picture in particular reminded me that instead of wallowing in my sadness I should think of the things that I do have.

So here's a list of positive things that I have in my life,

My family

I'm very blessed to have a family that loves me.  Even though I get mad at them sometimes for not being perfect, I know they'll always be here.

A home

In a post awhile ago I discussed how sometimes I'm unsure of where home is but no matter where I am in life I'll always have a place to come back to that I can call home for the time being.

My significant other

It may sound pretentious but I feel weird calling Kyle my boyfriend.  Regardless of what you or I call him though I'm thankful he's around.  I get upset a lot because I'm nervous about him possibly leaving for the Navy in about a year but I love him to death.

My pets

Animals have a way of knowing when your down.  My dogs are the perfect pick me up.  As soon as I walk outside they're there tails wagging.  My cat is less helpful but he's still super cute.

My car

This is a bit material but I know a lot of people that don't have their own cars and it sucks.  I have the freedom to go anywhere.  

My 2 best friends

I don't rely on them all too much because I like to tell myself that I can solve everything on my own but when I decide that I do need them they are ALWAYS there.  I could literally not talk to them for 3 months and then we pick up right where we left off like we just talked the day before.  I couldn't find better friends.

My education
Most days I'm really worried about what the heck I'm going to do next May when I graduate.  I want to own a bakery but I'm going to have no financial means to do so right after I graduate so what am I gonna do?  Obviously I'll get a job but there are a lot of questions that I don't know the answer to.  However, I will have a degree which is something that not everyone has so, thanks mom for making me go to college and giving me the means to do so.

My job
Currently I'm babysitting a few days a week which is most of the time a drag BUT I am employed.  I'm also not really looking forward to going back to work when school starts up but it is super cool that I don't have to worry about looking for employment.  I have a guaranteed job where I'm guaranteed to make $7.50 an hour and work at least 15 hours a week.  I shouldn't complain.

My life

This is something I don't think about too often because at 22 I'm still pretty sure I'm going to live forever but when I'm really down in the dumps it's sometimes nice to think about how I'm still here.  I'm still alive and I have the power to turn all of my frowns upside down.

Summer is HERE

After the crappiest start to "summer" ever, from going back to State College alone to the rainy, yucky weather, summer is finally (and officially) here and I personally think that I started it off in just the right way.  I had an excellent weekend.

Friday

I had Friday off (well I had the whole week off but whatever) so Kyle and I went to Ohiopyle.  Yes, I finally made it.  We didn't have a picnic or take the dog but just getting to Ohiopyle for the first time this summer was enough.  It wasn't too busy and the water wasn't too cold nor was it too hot.  It was perfect.

The natural water slide.  I didn't take this picture and we didn't go on it but next time...

Saturday

On Saturday an old friend from high school had her graduation party.  Also, her mom asked me to make the cake for the part but more on that in another post.  Anywho, it was really nice to see her and her mom and some other people that I haven't seen in a while.  There was also beer and great food so that makes for a good time.  It was fun and just the kind of party I like to go to, not too big, not too small and nothing formal.

The cake, not my best work but I was told it was delicious.

Sunday

We were supposed to go see Alice Cooper but we didn't.  In all honesty I'm not a huge Alice Cooper fan so it didn't bother me all that much.  We spent the afternoon canoeing on the Yough with my family which was a blast and then in the evening after deciding to forgo the concert Kyle took me to dinner and out for ice cream and it was just the perfect night. 

The captain and first mate

Mom and Ed could not keep up

Don't rock the boat

If this past weekend was any indication of how the summer is going to go I'll be pleased.  It was so much fun and it was nice to get out and do stuff.  Happy Monday!

Father's Day

If you've read my family post you know approximately three things about me:

1. I love my family,
2. My dad passed away in 2005,
3. I'm a total sap.

If you haven't read my family post now you know those three things but to recap the second point...in 2005 my dad passed away.  We lost him in a boating accident and life has been different ever since.

But today is Father's Day and what better way to honor my dad than a blog post?  I'm sure he'd be proud...actually he probably wouldn't even know how to access my blog with out a well drawn or written set of instructions.

So here we go, when my dad first passed I thought that the best days to be sad about how he wasn't with us anymore were holidays, especially his birthday and Father's Day and the anniversary of the accident.  Well, I don't really think that anymore.  I miss my dad everyday but I try not to be too sad about it because I don't think he would want that.  And usually the days that I miss him the most are random days that may or may not be close to his birthday or Father's Day or any thing of the sort.  But mostly I miss him everyday.

So here's a little bit about the man that contributed to the reason I'm here, John Jay Bodnar.

He was the hardest worker I've ever known.
He worked all the time when I was a kid, I mean he did own a business but I always kind of hated how often he worked.  I'm glad he did though because I have a pretty good work ethic and I attribute that to him.

But he also made time for his family. 
 I fondly remember patiently waiting after returning from church on Sunday mornings for dad to get home in the summer time because we always went out on the boat and my mom would make the best lunch meat sandwiches with what I thought of as "special cheese", it was Munster but it wasn't something we always had in the house.  When we got older we got a pool and the boat outings weren't as frequent but he still came home early and we would hang out by the pool.

He's the reason I love roller coasters.
When I go to an amusement park I head straight for the roller coasters and it's all because of my dad.  I remember going to Cedar Point when I was like 10 and being super upset because I wasn't tall enough for the "big" coasters yet.  I then proceeded to crack my head open and I couldn't ride any rides.  But now I ride them all, my first trip to an amusement park after he passed I bawled my eyes out because he wasn't there to ride them with me but I did take my first ride on the Phantom's Revenge at Kennywood with him and I'll always cherish that.

He was always there to help me with school.
Now my dad wasn't my go to person for homework help (that was mom) but when I had a project that required building something he was there.  I remember him basically building a bird house for me in 2nd grade, I think I hammered in one nail but that was about it.  And in 8th grade he and my mom helped me build a roller coaster at the last minute for science class, I got a 100%.

I could go on and on, I have so many memories of him teaching me things or doing things with me that this post could go on for days but I have to stop somewhere so here I'll recap some of my fondest.

He taught me how to ride a bike with no training wheels.
I'm sure it was a painful process because I was very adamant that I needed to be taught right at that moment because my older friends didn't have training wheels.

We used to ride bikes together on the trail.
To this day when I go there (which isn't often)  I stop for an extra minute at a place that we stopped for a break.  It wasn't meaningful then but it is now.

We used to eat oreos and watch cartoons together.
 My mom always hated the cartoons we watched but that's what probably made it so fun to do.

He taught me how to drive a 4-wheeler.
Then I wrecked and stopped riding 4-wheelers.

He used to put me to sleep on the lawn mower.  
Now I don't really remember this but there are enough pictures and videos for me to know that this happened.

I think I'll stop there.  In short,  I have a lot of memories of my dad that I'll cherish forever. And now as I'm making new memories I sometimes hate that he's not here but I always remind myself that at least I had him for a little while.

I love and miss you Dad!

So to all those dads out there, including my own, Happy Father's Day!

Blue-Eyed Baker: Gobs

Yesterday my little brother asked for Oreos and my mom said no, mostly because she was going to a smaller grocery store and they charge like $5 for a package of Oreos.  He got upset and then she told him to ask me to make him some.  I didn't want to try to make Oreos and I was in a cookie making mood so I made gobs (or whoopie pies) instead.  They kind of look like Oreos.

I stole the recipe from Brown-Eyed Baker because it was the first one to pop up and like I've said before all of her recipes that I've tried so far have been really, really good.

So here you go,

Gobs
Yield: 18-24 Gobs

What You'll Need:

Cakes:
2 c. Flour
1/2 c. Cocoa Powder
1 tsp. Baking Soda
1/4 tsp. Salt
1 c. Sugar
1/2 c. Shortening
1 Egg + 1 Egg Yolk
1 tsp. Vanilla
1 c. Buttermilk (I used 2% milk because I had no buttermilk and didn't feel like buying it for just one recipe)
1 c. Hot Water

Frosting:
1 1/4 c. Shortening
1 1/2 c. Marshmallow Fluff
1 c. Powdered Sugar
1 Tbsp. Vanilla

How To:

For the Cakes:

1. Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. Sift together flour, salt, cocoa powder and baking soda.  Set aside.
3. In a separate bowl, cream together the shortening and sugar.
4. Add the egg, yolk and vanilla to the sugar-shortening mixture and mix until incorporated.
5. Alternating the flour mixture and liquids, add 1/3 flour mix, milk, 1/3 flour, water, 1/3 flour.  Mix well (3-5 minutes).
6. Here's the tricky part, originally the recipe I used said to drop about a tablespoon and a half of the batter/dough/whatever onto parchment paper lined cookie sheets.  I did that and it didn't turn out well.  If you look at Brown-Eyed Baker you'll see that her cakes are nice and fluffy, mine were not, maybe because of the substitution of the 2%, maybe not.  Anyhow, I didn't like how my cakes looked so I filled cupcake tins about a quarter of the way full and when I took them out of the oven I smushed down the tops.  That method worked well for me and I liked the outcome.  They also make whoopie-pie pans so if you have those I'm sure you can use them. So, if you use the Brown-Eyed Baker's method bake time is 5-6 minutes, if you use the cupcake tin method bake time is 7-8 minutes.  If you use whoopie-pie pans, well good luck!

For the Frosting:

1. Add the marshmallow fluff and shortening to your bowl, mix well.
2. Add the powdered sugar and vanilla. Mix on high for about 3-5 minutes.  Your final result will be a nice and fluffy frosting.

Finally, assemble the gobs as you would a sandwich, cake-frosting-cake.  I used an icing spatula but you can really use whatever tool you want.

My results,

I have yet to perfect my dessert photo-taking skills.

That's all for today! Happy Friday and Happy Baking!

Mother's Day

Today is, you guessed it, Mother's Day.  I'm sure myself and plenty of other bloggers out there are dedicating today's post to our mothers.  To me it seems fitting and appropriate and this is one of the ways I'm celebrating my mom today.

My mom is basically my hero.  In tenth grade we had to do a "Most Influential Person" project and while some people did presidents or other important figures I chose my mom because I would literally not be where I am today without her.  But my mom's helpfulness in giving me life is not the end of her greatness.  My mom has taught me a lot in my 22 years and I'm sure she's not done yet but I've realized since I've started living in my own apartment that she's taught me more than I ever thought.

I can clearly remember her teaching me to read and write my name and later teaching me how to drive but since I started living on my own I've realized that she indirectly taught me things too.  I was always afraid that when I moved into my own place that I wouldn't know how to do anything that I hadn't previously been taught.  My mom never explicitly taught me how to cook or that I need to eat somewhat healthy foods on a daily basis but somehow I find myself cooking and eating regularly.  My mom never taught me what to do when your cat pukes on the floor but the first time he did it I cleaned it up and employed the exact same method I now realize my mom used a ton of times with our pets.

I also remember saying time and time again that I will never be like my mother but I'm pretty much a clone of my mother.  Most likely it's a culmination of genes and the way she raised me but if Kyle doesn't fold the towels the way my mom taught me to I kind of get mad and then re-fold the towels in the exact same way my mom does.  I find myself doing a lot of things the way my mom does them and I really can't imagine ever changing them.  I see it as the only way to do things right even if there are clearly other ways that work.  I will always do things  my way/my mom's way.

One thing I can't do is make spaghetti like my mom.  I've tried to make it the same way she does and it never turns out right.  Maybe I'll get it someday and maybe I won't.  Maybe I'll always think my spaghetti sucks and have to go back to mom just to have good spaghetti.  And maybe there's something like that with all moms, there's always a reason you have to go back just so you can have it the way moms make it.

This post feels kind of choppy to me, probably because there are so many things I want to say about my mom.  I love my mom to death, she's my best friend and I can't imagine what I'd do if I didn't have her.  I love you mom.  Happy Mother's Day and Happy Sunday!

Some more of that sweet nostalgia.

Where is home?

In the past 4 or so years I've asked myself this question over and over.  Where is Home?  I don't actually know for sure and I don't know if I ever will again.  I'm sure you've heard countless people say, "Home is where the heart is".  And yes that's probably true.  But what happens when you don't know where your heart is?

Little kid drawings always speak to my nostalgic side.

When I was little my heart was in one place.  Millsboro, PA.  That's where I grew up.  I lived with my mom and dad and siblings as they came along.  My grandparents lived across the street and my cousins a.k.a. best friends lived close by and eventually moved to Millsboro as well.  That was home for 15 years.  I knew nothing else and I didn't want to know anything else.  It was pretty much perfect.

When my dad died in 2005 we still lived in Millsboro but things got weird because dad wasn't there and things started feeling less like home but if I would have been asked I still would have said that Millsboro was my home.  We then moved to Coal Center which is a pretty okay place and I started college and I started feeling more displaced.  We were still in between houses and I didn't know which one to call home.  I later started dating Kyle and staying at his house and I became even more confused.  Kyle's family felt like a new addition to my family almost immediately and I spent a lot of time at his house in our two years at Penn State Fayette because it was convenient and it was where I wanted to be.

I now have an apartment that I live in for the majority of the year in State College.  While I'm in State College I frequently call the apartment home but I don't think State College will ever be "home".  I like it there for the most part but for me it's definitely a place of transition not a place to settle down.

With all of these different places to call home I can't actually think of a place that I can permanently designate that way.  Sometimes it's State College, sometimes it's where ever Kyle is, sometimes it's Coal Center with my family and sometimes it's still Millsboro because that was the most perfect time in my life.  I had 15 years of "normalcy" in Millsboro and then it was all taken away from me and I haven't yet had another period in life where there has been consistency so forgive me if I still want to call a place I haven't been to in months "home".

Sorry for the sappiness, sometimes it just has to be that way.  Happy Saturday!

Going Home

Today, after work of course, I'm packing up my car and going home! The only downside is that it's only for a week and then I have to return to State College for a rousing six weeks of summer classes.

So you're probably asking what will I do when I'm home....well maybe not but I'm going to tell you anyways.

1. Take my dog to Ohiopyle

 Ohiopyle is the most wonderful place in the world. I love it.  I also love my dog.  She adores car rides and I can't wait to put her in the car and go for a hike in one of my favorite places.  It will be pure bliss.

2. See my BFF's

My two best friends in the whole wide world live back home.  I can't wait to see them and possibly (probably) go out for drinks.

3. Beg my mom to make all of my favorite foods

I eat a lot of pasta here but I cannot replicate my mom's spaghetti and I've been craving it for weeks.  Also I just LOVE not having to cook.

4.  Spend oodles of time with my mom

My mom is also on my list of best friends she's actually number one.  I'm super excited to do super mundane things with my mom because I miss her so much.  Plus we'll also go out to the bar on Thursday and that's always fun.

5.  Spend time with my family in general

My family occasionally does things all together but usually it's hard to have everyone in one place.  But I can settle with just being in the same general area with them.  I like knowing my little brother is just upstairs playing playstation and not 150 miles away.

6. RELAX

This semester has been crazy and I'm sure taking 16 credits over six weeks while also working is going to be no walk in the park so for 7 days I'm going to relax as much as possible.

7. And finally, get my bake on

Next Sunday is Mother's Day and since I'm short on cash I want to make my Momma a gorgeous cake.         Don't worry there will be pictures.


That's all folks! Happy Sunday!

Family, my most important thing.

Recently I was asked to consult with someone on wedding cake prices, yeah I'm super excited and the lovely lady that I'll be talking to in about a week asked if I could bring pictures of my previous work.  Of course I can, I document all of my baking adventures but while I was going through my pictures on my computer I also found a treasure trove of pictures of my family that I didn't even know were on my hard drive.  These new found gems are the inspiration for today's post, Family.

Family is probably the most important thing in the world to me.  When I was 15 my dad passed away in a boating accident and as family oriented as I was before, the loss of my father increased my appreciation for my family ten fold.  Another turning point in my life so far was moving away to college.  Here in State College I am 150 miles away from home, sometimes it's nice but sometimes I miss them more than I could ever describe.  I've mentioned before that I have a huge family well now you can meet them all.

This is, as the kids like to call her, Nan George.

Above you can see my beautiful mother.  This woman gave life to me 22 years ago and I couldn't be more thankful.  Mother's Day is coming up so I'm sure we'll talk about her in more depth then but I love my mom and I hope to be a great mom and human being like her one day.

Dad

That's the best picture I could find of my dad on my sister's Facebook page.  I don't have very many pictures up here because A. I didn't want to lose them and B. sometimes I'm lazy and I didn't want to dig them out.  But that's my dad, John Bodnar, on a beach with my sister.  My dad was integral into shaping the person I am today.  I have a great work ethic thanks to both of my parents but I blame my love of Oreos and cartoons on my dad.  There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about him.  I miss him very much as you can imagine.  One day when I get all of my photos together I'll make a post all about him.

This Character

Edward George is another important man in my life.  He's my step-dad and he never fails to make me laugh. I wasn't always crazy about him becoming a part of my life but 5 years later I've decided I think I'll keep him.    He makes my mom happy and he helps put a roof over our heads but mostly he makes us laugh and you always need a person like that in your life.  I love him dearly.

My Little Sister

My sister, Mercedes, she's 19 but she probably thinks she's 25.  I love her to death and we haven't quite gotten to the point in our lives where we've realized how important it is to have a sister (boys are more important) but I'm sure we're almost there.  I haven't always liked her, from age 5-16 we weren't the greatest friends but now we get along pretty well plus we're stuck with each other. 

My Littlest Sister

Julia Jean, I knew she wouldn't appreciate it if I used an unflattering picture of her, I think this one is pretty decent.  Julia is 13 and a drama queen she's just now getting to the point in life where she's not totally annoying.  She dances and cheers and in my opinion she's great at both.  Of course I love her as well and she's turning out to be a beautiful young lady.

My mini Me

This is Elton, I like to call him my mini me.  Obviously he's not an EXACT replica, he's a boy, but he reminds me a lot of myself.  He's super smart, he's tried almost every sport possible and he wants to go to Penn State.  Now I didn't KNOW that I wanted to go to Penn State but the fact that he wants to go to the same school that I'm going to tickles me to death.  I love this little guy and he's growing up to be quite the little gentleman, he even has a girlfriend!

The Baby

This is Evan the baby of the family and even though he'll be 5 in August we still call him Baby and I probably always will.  When my mom got pregnant with him I was angry, there was no need for another kid in our already gigantic family.  He came anyways and I was there in the delivery room and I love him so much.  He's another one that I miss a lot when I'm not home for awhile but as soon as I get there and we play 10 million games of memory match I start to not miss him as much.  He's going to Kindergarten in the fall and in my opinion he's growing up too fast.

I also have two step-siblings, Jake and Jenna.  I can't find any good pictures of them on my computer though.  They are however in the family portrait on my About Me page.  They've been a part of my family for 5 years but  I still don't know them too well probably because Jenna lives with her mom and Jake isn't around very often.  All in all they're pretty good kids and I love them too.

My extended family includes Kyle and his parents and his brother.  When I'm home I spend just as much time with them as I do at my house.  In the past 3 years I've definitely come to be able to call them family.

I also, just like everyone else, have grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins but that would make for one very long post.  As if this one isn't long enough already.

Happy Thursday!