Where is home?

In the past 4 or so years I've asked myself this question over and over.  Where is Home?  I don't actually know for sure and I don't know if I ever will again.  I'm sure you've heard countless people say, "Home is where the heart is".  And yes that's probably true.  But what happens when you don't know where your heart is?

Little kid drawings always speak to my nostalgic side.

When I was little my heart was in one place.  Millsboro, PA.  That's where I grew up.  I lived with my mom and dad and siblings as they came along.  My grandparents lived across the street and my cousins a.k.a. best friends lived close by and eventually moved to Millsboro as well.  That was home for 15 years.  I knew nothing else and I didn't want to know anything else.  It was pretty much perfect.

When my dad died in 2005 we still lived in Millsboro but things got weird because dad wasn't there and things started feeling less like home but if I would have been asked I still would have said that Millsboro was my home.  We then moved to Coal Center which is a pretty okay place and I started college and I started feeling more displaced.  We were still in between houses and I didn't know which one to call home.  I later started dating Kyle and staying at his house and I became even more confused.  Kyle's family felt like a new addition to my family almost immediately and I spent a lot of time at his house in our two years at Penn State Fayette because it was convenient and it was where I wanted to be.

I now have an apartment that I live in for the majority of the year in State College.  While I'm in State College I frequently call the apartment home but I don't think State College will ever be "home".  I like it there for the most part but for me it's definitely a place of transition not a place to settle down.

With all of these different places to call home I can't actually think of a place that I can permanently designate that way.  Sometimes it's State College, sometimes it's where ever Kyle is, sometimes it's Coal Center with my family and sometimes it's still Millsboro because that was the most perfect time in my life.  I had 15 years of "normalcy" in Millsboro and then it was all taken away from me and I haven't yet had another period in life where there has been consistency so forgive me if I still want to call a place I haven't been to in months "home".

Sorry for the sappiness, sometimes it just has to be that way.  Happy Saturday!